Emotional Strength
In many cultures, expressing emotions is often misconstrued as a sign of weakness. Uniquely, emotions are one of the few human attributes we mistakenly believe grow stronger the less we acknowledge and utilize them. This perspective doesn’t apply to our physical bodies: if someone who has never exercised attempts to deadlift 200 pounds on their first gym visit, their lack of strength becomes immediately apparent. Emotions, like muscles, require regular attention and practice to develop resilience.
To embark on your emotional “weight-training,” start by recognizing the inherent value of emotions. Emotions serve critical functions: they provide insight into the situations we encounter and guide our responses. For instance, anger might signal an injustice, spurring us to advocate for change. Loneliness highlights a need for connection, prompting us to reach out to others.
The term “processing emotions” has been a buzzword, but what does it entail on a practical level? The first step is to identify the emotion, validate its presence, and determine what is needed to soothe it. It is crucial to note that emotions are always valid. This doesn’t imply that actions or perspectives tied to an emotion are inherently correct, but rather that the feeling itself is a legitimate response. Just as physical experiences vary—lifting 200 pounds may be effortless for one person but strenuous for another—emotional responses differ. One person might feel hurt and lonely when a friend cancels Friday night plans, while another might feel relief and calm at the prospect of a quiet evening. Neither reaction is wrong; both are valid and deserve acceptance.
Soothing an emotion after identifying and validating it can vary in difficulty, but the emotion itself often points to the solution for feeling better. Coping strategies are vast, ranging from reframing self-talk, reinterpreting a situation, taking action to address the issue, or engaging in calming activities like a walk, to name a few. While sharing feelings with friends, family, and partners can be helpful, relying solely on this approach limits emotional growth. Therapy can provide a wealth of skills and strategies to process emotions effectively, and with practice, these efforts cultivate greater emotional strength and resilience.
